Saturday, August 30, 2008

Love thy neighbor

To the idiots on the roof across the street-

I know that laser pointers are great fun, most of us discovered this in high school and got it out of our systems. But not you.
You, in your infinite comic genius, decided to harass my dog and I as we were minding our own business and taking a walk on Tuesday night.
Now, maybe you thought my dog would see the little red light and chase it, but he didn't even see it.
When I saw it, and yelled at you "That's really annoying. I'm happy for you though." you said "Thanks."
I thought you knew what I meant was, I'm happy that you are having fun with your little toy, but it's annoying me and since we are complete strangers you surely do not want to annoy me.
I was wrong.
As I proceeded down the block and you continued to flash the laser pointer at me, I realized that, yes, you did just want to annoy me.
I then yelled at you "Seriously though, cut it out." and since there were many other people on the street and they all looked up at you, you stopped.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Do you really have nothing better to do than annoy perfect strangers?
I live on your block, I saw where you were and thus, I know where you live.
What did I do to you?
If I hadn't stood up for myself and said something, I doubt that you would have left me alone.
What was your desired outcome?
I really can't figure it out. Maybe that's because I would never use a laser pointer to perturb a neighbor I didn't know.
Get a life, or be one of those people who goes on YouTube and posts negative comments on videos so that they can argue with strangers. Because if you decide to ruin any other dog walk I go for, I will make your life a living hell. Namely, I will call the police and stand outside your door so that you can't leave and I will tell the officer that you were flashing that pointer in my eyes and screaming expletives after I asked you to stop. I will get a restraining order so that you will have to move. I will make it so that you no longer have access to that roof.
Do not fuck with me, I will cut you.

Viva la glitter

I watched Velvet Goldmine yesterday. Honestly, I hoped for more. It wasn't terrible, the acting was good. The music was good, the makeup and wardrobe was outstanding. Most of the film's dialogue is made up of Oscar Wilde quotes. The story is a thinly veiled "what mighta happened" between David Bowie and Iggy Pop. It's an interesting narrative, surreal except for when it's set in 1984. It just left me wondering what was this movie trying to say? What I think it was trying to say is that while the journalist and former glitter kid, Arthur (Christian Bale) was able to be comfortable with his homosexuality in the world of 70's glam, that freedom died with the trend and in the 80's everyone was back to trying to fit in.
Or maybe it was trying to say that only through reinventing ourselves can we truly be free.
Or maybe it was saying glam rock is fucking awesome and we love makeup so we made a movie about it.
It could have been better. How? Well, they could have not based some of the movie on the unauthorized Bowie biography so that, as originally planned, they could have used a ton of Bowie music instead of some made-up songs. They also could have had a clear point. You don't have to hit me over the head with it, but give me a clue.
Super cool trivia point- although Jonathan Rhys Meyers sung the brian Slade songs himself, some of it was dubbed over with vocals from Radiohead's Thom Yorke. Sweet!
Thom Yorke + glam rock= crazy cool

Really though, Ewan McGregor was amazing as Curt Wild (Iggy Pop). AND he does full nudity! A really great peformance. Jonathan Rhys Meyers was good too, but he was more on display for his looks and sex appeal than any real acting. Toni Colette was good, but the really impressive work was from Christian Bale. The repressed homosexuality is completely belivable, all of the awkward moments feel real. I just would have liked a more cohesive theme. In the end Curt Wild says "We tried to change the world, and just ended up changing ourselves."
Oh, come ON! Glam rock didn't change the world? Of course it did! It changed music as we know it.
Who needs T.V. when I've got T Rex?
MySpace Codes

So many 80's bands could not have been if not for glam rock. Culture Club, Duran Duran, Twisted Sister, Poison? They all hummed "Ziggy Stardust" while putting on their eyeliner.

Saturday, August 23, 2008


Okay, okay, so I know I said I would never talk politics again after slamming intelligent design. But, I guess I lied.
Obama piked Joe Biden as his V.P. Other than clearly pandering to the white male voter and the more conservative democrats, I'm upset for another reason. Biden supports the Defense of Marriage Act. Biden doesn't think gay people have the right to get married.
Obama thinks civil unions should be good enough. Right, because I'm sure that if America had instituted civil unions only for black people he would have been all for that too. Separate but equal! Yes We Can! Ignorance is strength, comrade! War is peace! Change is staying the same!
And everyone knows that marriage is only for people who go to church! Wait- some homosexuals go to church? Some rabbis, priests and even bishops are gay? Well slap my ass and call me an agnostic who got married in an aquarium with a friend acting as justice of the peace!
Could someone worth voting for, please stand up?

You can't stop the music

Or the Olympics for that matter. My husband defiantly stated the week before the party started in Beijing "I'm not watching the Olympics."
Can anyone follow through on such a promise? The answer was no.
Just a few days ago he called me at work to say "The U.S. women's gymnastic team got robbed!"
That's right, you can't not watch the Olympics.
If you haven't been, let me tell you, I saw something today that changed my opinion about a sport altogether.
I'm talking about synchronized swimming. The punchline of so many jokes. Nothing could seem more silly or useless an endeavor as to struggle to swim coordinated with a group to music. "What's next," I thought, "Olympic karaoke?"
This afternoon I saw the Russian women's synchronized swimming team get a perfect score. 10's all around. To call it a routine is to short-change what it was. It was as if, all at once, that team came together and stuck it to every single person, such as myself, who ever doubted the difficulty and worthiness of synchronized swimming. I got served. They tore up that pool. Laugh, if you will, but go YouTube that shit. It was out of control. I'm a believer now, I will clap my hands and shout "I do believe in synchronized swimming, I do! I do!"
How many people in this world can say they've gotten a perfect score at the olympics?

I watched The Machinist staring Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh and the chick from A Walk in the Clouds.
It was good, like Fight Club meets Insomnia. I was very proud of myself for initially thinking "Wow, Trevor Reznik sounds a lot like Trent Reznor." Why? Because that's how the writer got the name in the first place. A big ol' nod to the man of NIN.
However, I could not get over how skinny Christian Bale allowed himself to get. It's nothing short of distrubing and not easy to watch. Especially because it's implied that the character eats, so anorexia or bulimia is not the problem. But for Christian? No, he just didn't eat.
Also shocking was how successfully the crew made Barcelona look like L.A. That could not have been easy. The story is good, the acting is excellent. The plot is like Thinner, minus the hocus-pocus. So, what's eating Trevor Reznik? I won't spoil it for you, even though you might think the twist is a little cheesy (it is, a little) it does have an interesting psychological argument. As a film noir? It's almost there. The women are too sweet, and you get the feeling that most people just want to help Trevor, despite his attempts to isolate himself. The interesting things to discuss surround the plot twist, so I have to stop there.

I also watched Death Proof which is similar to The Machinist in that when Zoe Bell ( the stuntwoman responsible for so much of the ass kicking that happened in the Kill Bill movies) actually is strapped to the hood of a Dodge while the car is being rammed by another car reminds you how far an actor will go for believability. I was on the edge of my seat because that was really her getting thrown around on a car's hood while the car was going really, really, really fast. So cool! Plus, she's a kiwi. So double cool! This movie was straight forward, guts and tits. Quentin wasn't trying to get cerebral with us. The best part? The women are not bimbo. They are sexy AND empowered. Someone tries to kick their ass, and they turn around and cut off his balls. That's what I like to see. Exploitation movies with all the exploitation sucked out. Truly a triumph of throw-backs, muscle cars, rock'n'roll and chicks being real.