Saturday, August 30, 2008

Love thy neighbor

To the idiots on the roof across the street-

I know that laser pointers are great fun, most of us discovered this in high school and got it out of our systems. But not you.
You, in your infinite comic genius, decided to harass my dog and I as we were minding our own business and taking a walk on Tuesday night.
Now, maybe you thought my dog would see the little red light and chase it, but he didn't even see it.
When I saw it, and yelled at you "That's really annoying. I'm happy for you though." you said "Thanks."
I thought you knew what I meant was, I'm happy that you are having fun with your little toy, but it's annoying me and since we are complete strangers you surely do not want to annoy me.
I was wrong.
As I proceeded down the block and you continued to flash the laser pointer at me, I realized that, yes, you did just want to annoy me.
I then yelled at you "Seriously though, cut it out." and since there were many other people on the street and they all looked up at you, you stopped.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Do you really have nothing better to do than annoy perfect strangers?
I live on your block, I saw where you were and thus, I know where you live.
What did I do to you?
If I hadn't stood up for myself and said something, I doubt that you would have left me alone.
What was your desired outcome?
I really can't figure it out. Maybe that's because I would never use a laser pointer to perturb a neighbor I didn't know.
Get a life, or be one of those people who goes on YouTube and posts negative comments on videos so that they can argue with strangers. Because if you decide to ruin any other dog walk I go for, I will make your life a living hell. Namely, I will call the police and stand outside your door so that you can't leave and I will tell the officer that you were flashing that pointer in my eyes and screaming expletives after I asked you to stop. I will get a restraining order so that you will have to move. I will make it so that you no longer have access to that roof.
Do not fuck with me, I will cut you.

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